Random Thoughts



  • It's never inappropriate to let us know how you're feeling man.

    I've been in similar situations, with recent events in my life making me miserable too. My mum passed just a few months after we'd started to reconnect. And thoughts of ones that got away and silly mistakes I've made keep circling.

    I'm not suggesting that I've been where you are right now, because everyone's pain is different. But shoot me a message if you ever want to man. I know I'm just a stranger, but I'm around for a chat. We all need people to talk to.
  • Totally appropriate. It's good to talk about these things.

    Life goes in cycles--sometimes depressive, sometimes tolerable, sometimes even good. I hope your life changes cycles soon, man. You deserve to feel better.
  • edited June 2018
    I'm sorry you're feeling that way and if there's anything we can ever do please let us know. We're here for you.

    You probably won't like this suggestion, but have you considered therapy? It really really helps some people, and the stigma is no reason to not seek it out because it could be just the outlet you need. It was extremely valuable to me for an extremely long time.
  • edited June 2018
    @vltk There are even lots of options available now that we’r always there, like online therapy and such. It’s never inconvenient or inappropriate to ask for help, you are loved, whether you think so or not.
  • reposting from the feels thread in case you missed it, as it covers my thoughts on the subject pretty thoroughly:

    hey, hang in there. i’ve been in some similarly rough, seemingly inescapable spots over the last year. depression and anxiety are such destructive illnesses; they both, each in different ways, keep you locked into negative patterns of thought and action. for instance, about a year into college, i started getting some really scary panic attacks (couldn’t talk, lost my balance, mind went crazy), which led to my developing more generalized anxiety (meta-anxiety, mostly - i kept worrying about getting a panic attack in this or that situation and what i would do if that happened). i ended up withdrawing a lot from social life and sinking into a woeful position where my anxiety/mental state was always on my mind. it was super prohibitive to pretty much everything in my life (though somehow i muscled through classes), and reducing social contact only heightened my anxiety when i did make the decision to socialize.

    so, i went to some psychiatrists and started to figure my shit out. i enrolled in some CBT sessions and started regularly talking to professionals about my struggles. the advice i got, in general, was to push against what my anxiety wanted me to do - even if i was terrified, i would have to put myself out there, embed myself in uncertain social situations, set up regular hang-outs, etc. it was tough at first, and i definitely didn’t follow a linear trajectory to recovery. but these things were necessary for me to break the loop and, in the end, greatly reduce both the frequency of my panic attacks and severity of my social anxiety.

    i experienced a similar thing with depression this past semester. when you’re in it, it feels so complete and so unchangeable. but i’m here to tell you it is, and you are certainly capable of reducing if not altogethering getting rid of your negative, critical self-talk (which in turn will uplift your perception of yourself and make you happier). you *can* break out of the negative loop; there are whole fields of psychiatric medicine dedicated to helping people do just that. if you feel stuck in a rut, i highly, highly recommend you try to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy, a proven method of treating depression and anxiety, if you weren’t aware) sessions, talk therapy, and, if other methods fail, targeted medication could do you some immense good.

    best of luck. i know how much it sucks. you got this.
  • I’m sorry to hear you’re not doing well @vltk. Lately I’ve been barely hanging on as well. I’m glad we can be a supportive community about this stuff
  • I often feel bad for not commenting enough or being supportive enough when other people on here express these feelings. A lot of the time I try my damnedest to shut these things out so I don’t have to deal with them, but that’s so selfish of me. I’m sorry if I’ve ever been silent in these conversations, it’s a fucked up defense mechanism of mine to ignore other people’s pain and that’s really terrible of me.
  • my problem is that i’d advocate for complete hedonism for anyone feeling without purpose, which is never a means to reconstruct ones life but one to develop a vocabulary of pleasure.
  • @vltk That voice that's telling you you'll never feel well again is a liar.

    I've never been depressed for as long as you have, but I know that when I have been in a depression phase it was because I felt like a burden, and that I would just drag others down by reaching out. Every time I would eventually reach out, I'm so surprised at how willing my mom would be to listen to how I was feeling, or how willing some of my friends were to go have dinner or go see a movie with me. Or how willing our little online community here is to share their struggles with depression and anxiety. It feels like a shock because of how strong the lie is.

    You are not alone. I know there are people who can help you, maybe in your family or in a group or a therapist or a combination of the three.

    You can beat this.
  • @geogadd1 Thanks for the congrats! My first day is July 16, I think I know what my first project will be. HYPE HYPE HYPE
  • hey, nice!! weirdly enough, that’s my first day as well! we’ll be starting new jobs together :’)
  • Did anybody hear about Steve Albini (yes that Steve Albini) winning the World Series of Poker? This actually happened, It’s pretty weird.


  • what a poker?
  • I used to watch that all the time, big Daniel Negreanu fan
  • what the fuck?? talented dude, wow
  • Lady that now sits next to me at work sounds exactly like Rachael Ray, that is my random thought for the day
  • Shit I could be a rapper pulitzer here I come
  • i wish i had more money to invest cuz my stocks are doing fucking great! but I'm poor so I only have enough in my portfolio to make up the cost of the bass i bought.

    but still, this morning man, fucking yes. and... i don't have a job anymore. which sux. and i'm working on this cover letter, and that sux. and i'm cold-calling places I don't have any connections with, and that sux.

    "The Love Witch" is a great aesthetic film. i fucking love it. [and if you want, you could also watch the porn]
  • fuck the stock market and people that participate in it
  • sorry to hear that Demi!

    I mean from what I've learned about you, you seem like a driven individual, so you'll kill it no matter what job you want.

    couldn't even imagine cold calling, that'd be crazy for me.
  • =] if i can impress you, I will! @TTK =]

  • hey you don't need to do anything that you don't wanna.
    Impress yourself first.
  • Best of luck demi!!
  • thanks @yama !!
    @TTK :D :>
  • saw Sean Spicer at in n out yesterday.

    No I’m not joking, dude was doing a book signing at the Nixon library in Yorba Linda and dude went to the in n out by CSUF where I usually go to. Walked out of the bathroom and saw him taking pictures with people, it was so bizarre.
  • I saw Sean Spicer at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
    He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
    I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
    The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
    When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
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